Friday, June 10, 2011


She twirls like a ballerina in her new holiday dress and shiny shoes, “Daddy, don’t I look pretty?” 
She jumps into his arms of safety after he encourages, “Come on sweetheart - you can do it - daddy will catch you!” 
She loves holding her father’s big, strong hand as they walk places and she adores hearing his voice call her his ‘little princess’.
‘She’ is every little girl - and she yearns for her daddy’s love as she begins to grow up. 
Not only would I testify to this for myself but I have had a front row seat observing the relationship between our only daughter and her daddy.
I’ve been taken aback as I have watched the yearning in my daughter’s eyes for her daddy’s belief in her capability. I see the incredible difference her father’s reactions make in her perception of her talents or skills. His words determine the outcome of her self-assurance and potential -- one encouraging word can literally boost her confidence to dream and risk and one critical word can send her straight to the land of insecurity, doubting herself. Fathers affirm competence and set the path for a woman to believe “I don’t have to prove myself. I can do anything.”
It’s amazing how my husband has become her ‘personal mirror’. The truth is that so much of of her self-image is reflected in the way her father sees her, the way he interacts with her, and the way he talks about her to others. If he compliments her and assures of her beauty, she feels like the most lovely young lady in the land. However, a simple throw-away comment or too much teasing can confirm her inner thoughts of ugliness; ugliness that no amount of make-up can cover. Yet, most dads don’t realize the power they hold in establishing their daughter’s self-worth.
Experience shows that fathers are very important role models for their daughters, especially in the puberty and teen years. A father is the first male that a girl comes to intimately know, and he can set the stage for how his daughter interacts in future relationships, especially with men. Just the other day our daughter declared to her dad that “he ruined her!” My husband exclaimed, “What? That sounds horrible - what on earth do you mean that I ruined you?” She went on to explain that, when it came to dating and marriage, he set the bar very high. She admires that he loves God so openly and has such a giving heart. She respects that he is a strong man with a tender heart. But, mostly, she never doubts that he loves his wife completely, creatively, and faithfully - and she has watched it all firsthand. Therefore, she isn’t going to settle for anything less in a young man. 
So, from a mother’s perspective, let me encourage every daddy out there to invest big in his little girl’s life. 
  • Please support her interests and ask questions about what she is involved in. Build her up every chance you get. Be there for her games or performances. There is no substitute for your presence.
  • Please compliment her. Hug her. Tell her how much you love her and how beautiful she is a million times while she grows up. Realize the powerful mirror you are in her life.
  • Please “ruin her” and set the bar high by the way you treat your wife. Make your daughter feel like you want to be close to her. Take her on a date. Show her how she should be treated.
Dads, no one replaces the place you hold in her heart. 

Every little girl and every big girl wants her daddy’s love.
Share with me how your dad made you feel loved or how your husband shows special love to your daughter.
P.S. - Send this to a dad of a daughter.



  1. that is so cute and so true, my daddy is my hero and i am afraid because as time passes i feel like things are not the same, i have grown up but i feel the same and i miss being daddys little girl

  2. Bell, I encourage you to write him a letter about being your hero and what it's meant to be 'his girl'. Be intentional about keeping connected as father and daughter - perhaps start having lunch together once a month, just the two of you.