Friday, May 27, 2011

HIT BY FRIENDLY FIRE - and what I learned

Have you ever worked for a company that you supported and stood up for - but they, in turn, treated you poorly? Perhaps you volunteered and sacrificed for an organization that took advantage of you? Maybe you were part of a committee or team that you really cared about, and your teammates selfishly turned on you to preserve their own place on the team? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then you understand firsthand the feeling of being hit by friendly fire.
I, too, have been wounded deeply by those I trusted in the workplace. But if you know me, then you also know that I try my best to never waste pain. I ask myself what I can learn from it and how can I grow?
  • I need clear structure and authority. I will not be part of an organization that doesn’t have an organizational chart in place. It must be clear who each person reports to and what the chain of authority is. If this is not in place, then I will choose to step aside until it has been established.
  • I need to have the courage to confront from the ‘get go’. The moment I feel uncomfortable, I will go to the source and get clarification. I will never confront by email - only face to face. And it will be my responsibility to ask any question needed at any time.
  • I will not be bullied or pressured into decision-making. I will walk away from any situation that makes me feel this way. I will ask myself and evaluate, “Why the hurry? Why the pressure?” After that, if I am not confident of my answer or my input, then my answer is “no”.
  • I need to feel valued. I need the freedom to express my ideas and thoughts. I feel respected when I am kept in the appropriate loop of communication. I need appreciation for what I do right or what I do well. I also need correction and input for my growth where needed. And, I need to be challenged.
  • I won’t enable others to treat me poorly. I am the only one responsible for standing up for myself. I will take full responsibility for what I have control over and I will set personal boundaries. I specifically will not allow myself to be mistreated and/or devalued in order to keep a false peace amongst others.
Christie Lee Rayburn

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