WILL I EVER GET PAST MY REGRET?

“Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:16

Do you experience the sick feeling of regret?  It shakes you from your sleep or it bullies your thoughts by day. It may be new to you or the same regret has been haunting you for years. Do you wonder, “Will I ever move past my regret?”

Regret is defined as a feeling of sorrow, remorse, a sense of loss, fault, or disappointment. I see regret as falling into one of two categories. The first category comes as a result of our fault and neglect, the second category is the result of personal loss and disappointment.

Regret due to fault and neglect includes our sinful or negligent choices, and we are reaping the consequences in our lives. It hurts and we feel sick about it.

Worse than our own inner turmoil, is being aware that our actions have had negative repercussions on our loved ones. When our regretful actions involve the most significant people in our lives, our remorse runs deep. The regret over our choices play like a bad dream over and over in our heads.

What can free us from this taunter ?

Jesus Himself, our great High Priest, invites us to receive His mercy. God chose to take on flesh and walk among men and women. He experienced every temptation, yet was without sin. He took our sins upon Him and suffered death on the cross. He did this so we can have forgiveness and a relationship with God. This is why we can approach His throne-His presence-with confidence, because it is a throne of grace! When we move into His presence, confessing our sin, we receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need (check out Hebrews 4:14-16).

Let grace and mercy replace your regret

Grace is God’s constant and unfailing faithfulness to His promises and to His people. It includes His unconditional love and acceptance of you. You can neither earn it or lose it.

Mercy means to bend or stoop in kindness. Mercy shows favor and graciousness. It flows from the loving-kindness of God. Both grace and mercy are the very nature of God.

Wouldn’t you love God to replace your regret with His grace and mercy? You aren’t able to fully embrace it for yourself until you face your actions head on with Jesus. But, we put it off. We harbor the guilt and carry the baggage of regret. We allow regret to make its home in our life, and drag it along through the years.

Maybe we think God will be angry with us. Maybe it is too painful to rehash your regrets in His presence. But, isn’t it time? I like these words from my BFF, Christie Lee Rayburn, “The road to forgiveness is simple–it is our sin that is complex. We spend our lives reversing the two.”

Don’t let the possible “simplicity” of God’s cleansing keep you from it. Regret saps you of freedom and years of life. It is time to sit at the throne of grace and let our compassionate Savior, Jesus, cover you with His mercy.

It is time to deal with it

Go find a quiet place in your home. Get on your knees (you don’t have to, but I find it helps me to humble my heart - as if kneeling at the throne), and confess what needs to be confessed.  Accept God’s forgiveness and forgive yourself. Ask Him to cover you with His goodness.

Aaaahhhh…..that feels so good.

Now embrace it. God promises every one of us, when we confess our sins, He will always be faithful to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (I John 1:9). That means You—Are–Clean.

Soak in those words.

You-not the other guy you think is more deserving.

Are-God’s Word doesn’t say He might cleanse you of all unrighteousness. It says He will.

Clean-that means you don’t pick the garbage back up tomorrow after you have trashed it today. Leave your garbage at the throne.

It’s a new day! Don’t look back, my friend. “Will I ever get past my regret?”–It is up to you now. You have the opportunity to walk in newness of life today.

Embrace it!

Consider this tough question: Once we are free from the remorse and condemnation of our actions, can we ever get past the pain of loss?

This is part 1 of a 3 part series on Regret. Next, we’ll look at Regret due to loss and disappointment. We’ll talk about whether regret is ever good.




BONNIE CHRISTENSEN
Woman Gone Wise

THE PAST

I keep memories.  Lots of them.  Scrapbooks, boxes, folders and journals with stories of life that I pray one day will fall in to an order that will make sense to my kids someday.  I have dreams of them flipping through the pages and knowing the history of their first steps, how Mama and Papa met or what life was like as the grew up.  I have always done this and I probably wouldn't know how to stop, even if I wanted to.

But life isn't slowing down and there comes a time when you must get rid of some things before you end up on that show Hoarders.  During spring cleaning, I found a box filled with old letters and emails I had printed for the purpose of keeping to record history.  They were from a wide assortment of people and it was really quite fun to read over them and relive a few fun moments of the past.  Mixed in the tall stack were some from my husband when we were in the dating stages.  Those were special.  Those I set aside to read with him later.

Yeah right.  Like I have patience.  After sorting for a few more minutes and tossing 75% of the stack that were just forwards I apparently thought were funny/historical, I thumbed through the treasure pile.  On the top was hillarious poem I wrote about his willingness/comfort to fart in front of me and how important that made me feel.  I know...odd.  Don't judge us.  ;)  Following the "cute" rhyme was a collection of emails and quick notes filled with angry and sarcastic words that we shared about who knows what.  It hurt to read the words.  In an instance, I felt unloved by the man I have been married to for nearly seven years.  The man I KNOW loves me.  Sitting on the floor of my bedroom, pouring over these ink filled pages, I was questioning his love and how we ever made it this long.  My hurt turned to anger and then to guilt and then who knows where.  I was a wreck.  And then he walked in.

Unprepared for the emotional onslaught that was headed his way, he smiled at me and asked what the heck I was doing.  I handed him one letter, watched him read it and then twinged a bit as he laughed it off.  "What was I even talking about?" he asked me as he casually handed it back.  I didn't know.  I just knew that he wasn't happy with me in that letter and it hurt that he ever even thought of me that way.  Ever.

The evening went on and my heart was still hurting about past hardships we had had.  I was needy for his loving attention and for him to tell me how much he loved me...all because of my stoopid trip down memory lane.  In my pity party, God interupted.  It was like he was reminding me that we all have an ugly past.  In the middle of my pity party, it was like there was this awesome slideshow of our lives and how far God had brought us.  Not only together as a couple (which in itself is a miracle) but how God had changed each of us in such huge, individual ways.  Yes, we had some horrible conversations via written word (and spoken) but we are here, now, with each other and with God leading our lives and our relationship.  It is clear that without him, the institute of our marriage would either have crumbled or not lasted much longer.  But He interupted.  And saved us from ourselves. 

And that history I can't seem to let go of?  That simple criss-cross-applesauce moment on the floor really affected me.  When God promises us that He will seperate our sins as far as the east is from the west...He does.  Maybe I should be more forgiving as well.  Yes it was a part of our story but who really needs to see the exact details?  We have forgiven each other, we have moved on and we have seperated our past from the hope that God has promised us.  And that iself, is better than any scrapbook.

AMY BALLARD

www.amybphotography.com