Showing posts with label communicate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label communicate. Show all posts

Monday, March 10, 2014

FROM THE HEART


When I had my own classroom last year, I had a poster hanging on the wall just like the one below.  I really wanted my students to think about the power of their words before they came out of their mouth. At the beginning of the year, we squeezed a tube of toothpaste and then tried to put the toothpaste back into the tube as an illustration that you can never take back words once they have been spoken.  We weren't successful 100% of the time, but I heard snippets of conversations from time to time where students would ask or tell each other, "Is that inspiring?" "Was that helpful?"  It made me proud to know that some of my students really took that to heart.

This year, since stepping out of the classroom into a leadership position, I've really thought about the words that come out of my own mouth and the power they have.  I haven't been perfect, not even close.  There have been days where I've said the wrong thing, but I've owned it.  There have been days where the words I spoke were taken out of context or misconstrued.  Only I know the intent behind those conversations.  But, I've really been pondering the way teachers speak.  Last year, I had the amazing opportunity to meet Ron Clark and he made a comment that jumped off of the stage and has stuck with me.  I know I won't get it exactly right, but he spoke about how teachers are the world's worst at tearing each other apart.  He gave several examples that I could really relate to…"Look at her working late.  She's doing it for recognition." or "Dressing up for costumes is just a way to get attention.  There's not time for that."  

I thought back to the many, many days I ate lunch in teachers' lounges, attended professional developments, etc. and heard those very same comments about teachers who are in the trenches in all out warfare for their students.  I thought about the teachers who made the comments and the teachers whom the comments were about.  It broke my heart and continues to break my heart.  Teachers should be bound together by a code, much like the Navy Seals.  They never leave a man behind, and never talk bad about one of the team.  They do everything they can to make sure everyone comes out of a mission successful.  

As teachers, we need to band together and lift each other up every where and in everything that we do. We should be knocking on the doors of teachers in our building and asking if there is any help that is needed and asking for help ourselves.  

We have a greater mission than of ourselves.  Those little guys, and big ones too, who sit in the desks in our classrooms deserve a "team" of professionals that value each other, learn from each other, encourage each other.  That positive energy feeds into our students, who then take it to each other.  If teachers model positivity, just think about what our students would do. 

Being positive or negative is a choice.  One that we must make many times in a single day.  But we have the power to choose it ourselves.  So, if you choose to be positive, pull up a chair beside me at the lunch table and let's talk about how amazing your students are.  If you choose to be the negative nelly - about teachers or students - I'd really prefer that you sit somewhere else.


SHASTA LOOPER

Monday, July 16, 2012

FAITH CONVERSATIONS WITH MY TEENAGE BOYS




Despite the long hours this mom-on-the-go spends in her vehicle, and the uneasy sense of my rear growing four times its size as a result from sitting so long every day, I do enjoy van-time with my kids. The daily detailed stories, questions and practical faith conversations are shared freely in the confines of our cushioned metal cage. But recently I notice, the boys are more quiet in our daily drives. I wonder if its due to their teenage testosterone or if they are doing more internal thinking. But no, with one glance over my shoulder I understand its those darn smart phones. The addictive games and texts are pulling them in to cyber play, drawing them away from life’s in-the-moment interactions.
Beside me in the passenger seat sits my fourteen year old son. He is nurturing his new smart phone. To my dismay, this has become a common scene. His conversation of late has been centered around his praises and concerns for his new treasure.
“How is your precious?” I asked in a friendly manner.
Huh?
“I think you are going to make a great Daddy one day.” His face twisted in disgust as he looked at me curiously. “When you were a baby, your Dad and I loved holding you and patting you and talking to you and talking about you. We adored you.”
Yea?
He was still wondering where I was going with this.
“You seem to be nurturing your own precious cell phone that way. If you take care of your own children like your precious phone, you will also be a great attentive Dad,” I say with a voice of encouragement.
Oh. Uh-oh.
He got it. Similar conversations have taken place over the course of his young lifetime. It has been our parenting intention to model the futility of loving things–how easy it is to place the temporal above our love for God and others.
I pulled the van slowly into the garage and gently added, “All things will pass away, my boy. Only God and people last forever. Love them more than your technology.”

BONNIE CHRISTENSEN

Friday, July 29, 2011

WIVES, YOU MAY NEED TO RE-DEFINE THE WORD “SEXY”


Our anniversary was approaching and I was out shopping for what I thought would be Mark’s favorite gift -- something new for me to wear to bed. As I was having fun browsing through a lingerie store, many thoughts were going through my head ....
  • “Oh he would LOVE that outfit- so soft to the touch!”
  • “No, that wouldn’t do anything for him.... too boring”
  • “He’d think that was cheap looking.”
  • “Maybe ... I don’t know what he’d think of that... just not sure...”
  • "Wow - that's a definite - but, oh my, I don't think he'd want me to spend that much!"
  • “What is he in the mood for ... classically pretty or downright sexy or playfully cute?”
Then I answered my own question - “He’d always choose ‘sexy’ if he could only choose one kind of look! Or would he?" That thought led me to another question (this happens on a regular basis for me) ... another thought that crossed my mind for the very first time .... 
What if what I think - he thinks is “sexy” - isn’t ‘sexy’ to him at all? What if cute is his style of 'sexy'? What if what he thinks is sexy changes with his moods? What if I have been ‘missing it’ all these years?”
Now granted, my husband has made it quite clear that he has appreciated and enjoyed every piece of lingerie or ‘creative costuming’ I have ever worn to this date. But, the truth is that I have always assumed what he would think is ‘fabulous lingerie’ without really asking him.
For instance, I don’t know why ... but, from the time I got married, I imagined that the ‘sexiest’ thing I could wear is a bustier with a garter belt and thigh highs. Where did I get this notion from that I couldn’t get any sexier than that? I have no idea. Maybe it was my romantic side, thinking it reminded me of the 1800’s with corsets or maybe it was my own stereotyping, thinking that all men loved garter belts - who knows?
But the light bulb finally went on for me -- it’s high time I ask my husband what HE thinks sexy looks like when it comes to lingerie! So I did.
It was a lesson well-learned. My husband re-defined “sexy” for me and I was excited to go shopping again, along with my new insights.  


I no longer have to wonder or guess or imagine. I know my man’s favorite colors on me. I know his preference of material. I know his favorite look. I even know how often he likes me to wear something special.
I want to encourage you to let your husband give you HIS definition of sexy - after all, his clarification is what matters most. In order to help you out, I’ve included a little Lingerie Quiz for you to use. 






YOU DEFINE SEXY

Your 3 favorite colors on me are: 
1ST____________    2ND ___________    3RD ___________
Which do you enjoy more? Circle top two.
Lace     Sheer     Mesh     Satin     Leather     
Which style is sexiest on me? Circle top two.
Teddy     Camisole & Boxers     Baby Doll     
Bustier & Garter Belt     Short Slip Gown     
Long Gown     Bra & Panty
Do you mostly enjoy me …..
Scantily clad so you see lots of skin
Quite covered so you can imagine more
Somewhere in between
Would you rather have lingerie….
With easy access to all parts of me
Lots of pieces for you to remove
If I was to wear a creative costume, which would you prefer?
French Maid   Pirate   Sports player   Other:___________
How many times per week would you enjoy seeing me in lingerie?
1     2     3     4     5     6     7  
When do you want to know that you will see me in lingerie?
Day Ahead so you can be imagining
That Morning so you can count the hours down
When you get home so you can hurry up dinner
Just before so it’s a great surprise
In my lingerie, am I sexier when I am shy or bold? ___________
What is one thing I do when I’m in lingerie that drives you wild? 
______________________________________________________________



I would love to hear if any of you were surprised by how your husband answered or  if this quiz sparked any great conversations.


I want to recognize that there are many women reading this who feel a million miles away from 'sexy' or lingerie shopping. Instead, you might be feeling distant, confused, or frustrated about your present sex life. Let me encourage you to initiate a conversation with your husband about how you are feeling. Ask if he would be willing to brainstorm options for baby steps that the two of you could take to begin a new direction. Remember that I am here, as well, if you need any help with that conversation.
Here’s to always learning more about our men......




CHRISTIE LEE RAYBURN, MIRROR MIRROR