Friday, August 5, 2011


It is time to sit myself down and give this girl a reality check.   I am disheartened by the reflection of the woman I see each morning; deep lines around her eyes and even deeper crevices around her lips.   Her image does not line up with the youthful woman in my mind.  My mind is playing tricks on me, making me believe I am ten to 15 years younger than I really am.  What is that about?  I know some of you are in the midst of this inner-struggle, while others are asking, “What took you so long, Bonnie?”
I’ve been engrossed in the joys of raising my boys who are quickly approaching manhood.   Their changing voices and interests warn me that my lifestyle is about to take a big turn.  With the rude awakening of a 40-something birthday and friends reminding me I am next in line to turn 50, I know it’s time for the woman in the mirror and the one in my mind to come to terms with one another.
Suddenly I am struck with my own mortality.  These precious days are slipping through my fingers and I am helpless to grasp them and hold them back.   More than half my life is over.  This reality presents a new dimension of feelings to sort through.
I have observed many who confront this mid-life crisis by digging in their heels, clenching the last moments of their youth, and risking their families with their shenanigans…it isn’t pretty.  Naively, I thought I could take healthy steps to avoid this crisis.  But now that I am in the middle of my own mid-life reality, avoiding the crisis is not an option.  Making healthy choices is however; as I learn to embrace this new season of life.
Crisis is not a four letter word
As youth, we go through an identity crisis, wrestling with who we are, what character qualities we want to define us, and what we will allow to form our value system.  As we progress toward young adulthood, we must face a crisis of belief, where we wrestle with our beliefs about God and choose to make our beliefs our own.  This is all good.
Crisis invites us to move forward in our lives.  We can choose to be the passive victim of a life-stage crisis, ridiculously try to fight it, or welcome it as a refining process of fresh new things to come.  How are you confronting this age-old crisis?  Let’s take this journey together, and ride into the second half of our lives with zeal!  Crisis is not a four-letter word.   It has the potential to cause turbulence, but I’m determined it will bring great growth.
I don’t have all the answers to this mid-life crisis. But as I come to terms with the second half of my life, two truths come to mind:
  • I came from dust, I will return to dust.  That’s the way it is.  (Ecclesiastes 3:20)  It’s nothing to fight or debate.  I am assured of my eternal home and rest with Jesus, and all is well.
  • The character of the Proverbs 31 woman spoke to me in my youth, “Strength and dignity are her clothing and she smiles at the future.”  (Proverbs 31:25) Now is my opportunity to emulate this woman.
Despite my ever-changing body, mind and relationships, God’s love and purpose for me remain the same.   He reveals it to me through His Word, like road signs along the way.   I will keep trusting and obeying Him, and He will keep leading me in the way that delights Him.
This crisis is going to be good.


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