HOLDING MY LOVED ONES LOOSELY

Father and Son on their way to Mexico

Over the weekend, the driver in front of me kicked up a stone and cracked my windshield.  This is the third incident mucking up my new van in less than a year. I was instantly reminded how accidents even happen at home, while doing the mundane.

How many of us cling to our families and material things as though it will keep them safe from harm?

When our 12-year-old son left for the Dominican Republic on a mission trip a few summers ago, the popular response from my friends was, “Aren’t you scared?” The truth is I am more afraid of clinging to my kids and my fears so tightly, that I thwart the Lord from doing a mighty work in their lives. In spite of my Mama-fears, I must hold my loved ones loosely.

Friday morning I waved goodbye again to the same son (now 16 years old) and his dad as they left for a Spring Missions trip to Mexico.

This morning I said goodbye to my 13-year-old baby.  He is serving the local Salvation Army, homeless, and planting trees at schools downtown with his Junior High youth group.

Sweet Baby Dane goes off to serve

I was hoping to go with him, at least drive a van load of kids back and forth. But through a series of events, I lent my van to a driver I don’t know, to be filled with hyper junior high kids. The thought of a hole punched in the seat or a shovel scraping the ceiling has crossed my mind.  But, I must also hold my van loosely.

Stones will hit the window while I drive it around the corner, rust will destroy it, and thieves may break in and steal it. Scripture reminds me, “Where my treasure is, there will my heart be also.”  So, I handed over my keys as an act of worship.

I am left feeling a little lost this morning.  A.J. and I are home alone for the week. It’s a funky feeling when most of your family is gone and you are left tooling around on your own. Normally I would welcome the time to myself, but I am feeling as though a large piece of my heart is gone.

Honestly though, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Opportunities abound for our kids to grow deeper in their walk with the Lord while serving the world.

So here are the strange prayers from a Mama learning to hold her loved ones loosely:

I pray they get dirty for God! I hope their fingernails get dirty from playing with children and planting trees.

I pray their bodies get smelly from living away from the conveniences of home but being filled up from serving the Lord.

I pray their hearts are broken as they encounter people who have so little. And their hearts stretched as they experience the joy of sharing the Good News and treating others as better than themselves.

I pray they build lasting friendships working side by side with like-minded kids. While they share in the work and the worship, I pray they would come back to their schools and sports teams and shine brighter together!

I pray they will feel uncomfortable or afraid, and step out of their comfort zone, take a step of faith, and watch God show up in personal and mighty ways!

When they feel tired and sore and lay in their sleeping bags feeling homesick, I am grateful they can’t text me. I pray they would lean upon God as their comfort and  provider.

This mom is holding her loved ones loosely today, trusting if I cling to my life I will lose it, but if I lose my life for Christ’s sake and the Gospel, I will save it (Mark 8:35).

I couldn’t have it any other way.

BONNIE CHRISTENSEN

Woman Gone Wise

WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH THE POOR?

Today’s Proverb vitamin is a sobering one, taken from Proverbs 21:13

“Whoever closes his ear to the cry of the poor

Will himself call out and not be answered”

Throughout the Scriptures the heart of God is revealed for the poor and needy.  Caring for the poor is considered true religion in God’s sight, it is an act of justice and worship.  Often times our hearts are filled with good intentions, but we make gross oversights in putting those intentions to action.

The statistics of hunger in our own communities unveil the poverty crisis.  In my state of California, there are 6,053,473 individuals who are considered food-insecure.  To consider our national statistics, and those of starving people around the world, it is both devastating and overwhelming.  (You can learn about your local state’s statistics at www.feedingamerica.org)

I have shared many opportunities shoulder to shoulder with youth; feeding and serving those in poverty in local cities throughout California.   But, I will never forget the day my eyes opened to a new face of poverty.  Working together with beautiful high school students in a soup kitchen; we were seating and greeting people as they came to Loaves and Fishes for a good hot lunch.  These weren’t the homeless folks I had rubbed shoulders with before, instead they were working people.  Construction workers, builders, many others who were in their work clothes, coming to eat for their lunch break.  They are the working-poor.  This is sobering to me.  In fact, the 2010  U.S. Census Bureau states there are 21 million people who live in working-poor families.

The face of poverty includes the working poor, Senior Citizens, and children.  Feeding America  explains new findings on child hunger:

“Child hunger hampers a young person’s ability to learn and becomes more likely to suffer from poverty as an adult.  Scientific evidence suggests that hungry children are less likely to become productive citizens.”

Wait, don’t turn the channel!  Instead, consider how to turn your grief and good intentions into action.  You can easily incorporate these actions into your lifestyle:

• Check out Food for the Hungry or Feeding America.org.  Both organizations can lead you to local opportunities to assist the poor in your community.
• Make a Google Search for Food Bank’s in your city.  Find out where the nearest food collection truck is in your neighborhood.  If there isn’t one, ask what you can do to help them out.
• Put your heads together with your children, their school or church, and organize a food, coat, or blanket drive.
• Make Fair Trade purchases at your local store to help assist global poverty and keep those most vulnerable to selling themselves into the slave trade, working!  Check out Free2Work.org for a smart phone app which helps you identify Fair Trade items in your stores.
• Make a simple plan to buy 5 extra cans of food or baby formula every time you grocery shop.  Let your kids pick the food and help deliver it.  This will instill a lifestyle for your children of serving others in need.
• Call your local soup kitchen and schedule a date with your family, Bible Study group, or friends.  (Note: soup kitchen’s get a lot of volunteers during the Thanksgiving and Christmas season; so plan ahead or schedule your day for the new year).

You may be a little nervous at first, but I guarantee, it will be one of the best things you’ve done all year!  Because you  are created to do good works (Ephesians 2:10), I know you will feel blessed in your practical act of worship.  You may even hear your kids ask, “When are we going to do that again?”

Serving the poor is serving Jesus Himself.  In the words of Jesus:

“For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me,  I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me,I was in prison and you came to me. Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you? And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers,you did it to me.”  Matthew 25:35-40

BONNIE CHRISTENSEN
WomanGoneWise.com

SPECIAL NEEDS, STRESS, AND OUR SUMMER VACATION

Slumped on the picnic bench, I sit disappointed as I listen  to our son say, “No” for the umpteenth time.  It is the end of summer break and we are on our one and only family vacation.  Our oldest son, who has special needs, is filled with stress and anxiety this morning.  “No” is the limited word choice he uses to express his discomfort.

We apply our behavior plan, but the negative behavior looms.  The rest of the family continues discussing the day’s plans as we sit around the picnic table.  My mind wanders away from the conversation, wondering if there are other tools we could use to coax our boy along.  Sinking my chin into the palm of my hand, I watch him as he eats and I begin to pray, “Jesus, please help him be carefree”.

We couldn’t have picked a more relaxing, stress-free vacation place.  Regardless of the calm lake and lazy schedule, our boy was stressing over straws for his cup, climbing into a rowboat or walking up a small row of stairs.  The anxious behaviors interfere with his ability to enjoy new experiences and relationships.

Our family of five responds to his needs like second nature.  We take paths of least resistance; avoiding stairs and carrying straws in our bag.  We plan to ignore negative responses; trusting the lack of attention will deflate some behaviors.  And we carry a “tool box” of high fives, praise and gummy bears for his great behavior choices.

Brother encourages brother on stairs

We have come to expect new situations will often create anxiety in our son.  A new place to sleep, a change in schedule, and crowds of people can throw off a normally delightful child.  This is the life of a special needs family.  There are times we respond to his behavior with our own erupting stress. More often we take deep breaths and dig deep inside ourselves to persevere and love and laugh, and sometimes cry, (speaking of myself).

Most of all, I pray.  Try as I may to be equipped with effective survival tools to empower my family, ultimately I have very little control.  I release our boy to One who loves deeper.  As everyone finishes their breakfast I silently pray, “Lord thank you for giving us tools.  Thank you for giving me a kind husband and compassionate sons.  But, I pray for a carefree heart in our boy.  He can’t pray it for himself.  I pray You’d work your Spirit within our boy…to relieve him of his anxieties…give him joy and rest.  Only Your Spirit can do that, Lord.  Do a mighty work.”

I’m going to pray this prayer relentlessly.

BONNIE J. CHRISTENSEN

WomanGoneWise.com