"ARE YOU MY MENTOR?"

“Are you my mother” the baby bird asks different animals from page to page.  I listened to my son read the Dr. Seuss book aloud, with its pages full of childhood wonder.  Every stage of my life I have had something to look forward to in the next stage.  With wonder, I looked forward to becoming a cheerleader, a high school student, my first boyfriend, going away to college, doing my part to help the world, and ultimately getting married and becoming a mommy.  Similar to the baby bird, I pursued role models as if to say, “Are you my mentor?”

With wonder, I watched the lives of godly men and women and I valued their input in my life.  I became a note-taker.  Literally taking notes in the blank pages of my bible, journals and scrapbooks, I wrote about the way they loved their spouses, the way they treated their children, and the way they loved Jesus with their lives.

I took mental notes, too.  Mental notes about parenting, discipline, faithful husbands, and godly moms.  I mentally jotted how they shared conversation around the table, required integrity in their ministry, and balanced their lives.  Thanks to the deliberate teaching of those who purposed to build into me, as well as the teaching I “caught” from observing these godly lives, these notes have paid off through the seasons of my life.

I can’t help but lament the lack of notes I have taken for this mid-life season.   I have so many questions about the empty nest, becoming a mother-in law, and a grandmother.  Are you my mentor?

My sons have not yet entered the dating phase of life, but I’ve been searching for a role model who can pass on her wisdom about being a great mother-in-law.  I’ve been on the look-out for years.  I have a few mental notes about “how not to be a mother-in-law”, but I’m still looking for the “how-to”.

Do I have more to look forward to in my senior years than the empty nest, osteoporosis and dentures?  Please show me!

Are you my mentor?

Calling all emotionally healthy and godly women!  There is a generation who wants to learn from you!  We don’t expect perfection and scholarly advice; we want to learn from your mistakes, your heartaches, your trials.  Are you willing to let us in on your great tools for adjusting to a changing family life?  Will you tell stories about how you try to strike a healthy balance with your adult children?   Will you tell us how you feel and how you wrestle with your changing roles?

If you are still trying to figure it all out, that’s okay.  We want to hear that, too.

If you have a wonderful “mid-life” mentor, tell us some stories!

BONNIE CHRISTENSEN

WomanGoneWise.com

Cultivate Yours Sons Character through Powerful Role Models

7 WAYS TO BEGIN NOW

Can you recall the influential people in your youth?  Perhaps they made an impression because they took a special interest in you, challenged you, or respected your opinions.  Studies show teens that have mentoring relationships are more likely to challenge themselves by taking positive life risks.  Their decisions about drinking, drugs and sex become significantly influenced. (2006 SADD, Inc./Liberty Mutual Group study of 3,312 students)

While Mom is the most influential person in a child’s formative years, there is a natural psychological shift that occurs from mom to dad.  Boys in particular require adult males to respect, get approval from and model their manhood after.   If there isn’t a man in the home, explore ways to incorporate positive male mentors.

CREATIVE ROLE MODELS IN THE ELEMENTARY YEARS

My husband and I mutually desire that our sons be able to face adversity as well as mundane tasks with a faithful zeal.  We began introducing ordinary people whose lives exemplify extraordinary faith:

Great Hero Stories for children.  These may include Bible heroes, missionaries, business people, etc.  Several nights a week, give the boys their own time with dad, reading and casually discussing the story.  These stories can be found in children’s books or c.d.’s at your local bookstore and Christian book source.

Tell Your Story.  Our boys call these “Daddy Stories”.  They sit in the Jacuzzi or by the fire while my husband tells stories of growing up, stories of struggles and faith in his workplace or mission trips.  Casually he tells the stories, often with laughter, always with purpose.  When our 12 year old returned from his first mission trip overseas, he told his peers, “My original motivation to go on a mission trip was because my parents always told me stories that sounded so fun”.

Serve Together.  Care for a neighbor, serve in a soup kitchen, walk a 5k for the homeless.  Locate opportunities by calling your local Salvation Army, soup kitchen, or church.  You may hesitate now, but your heart will be bursting after your first experience!  I have seen babies, young children, and our own special needs child able to give back to the community.  Your son will learn life is not all about him, he will notice those in need.  The unspoken power of serving beside role models will cultivate his character.


PURPOSEFUL ROLE MODELS FOR THE TWEEN AND TEEN YEARS

 Purposely introduce like-minded people to your son.

Movie Night.  Boys respond to war stories; great classics that tell true stories of heroism.  “To Hell and Back” was the first war movie our sons viewed. Selfless and courageous, Audie Murphy led by example.  He was small, faced personal obstacles, but became the most decorated war hero in history.  “Chariots of Fire” is another great choice.

Give them You.  Stay involved and interested.  Hang out, have fun, keep communication open.

Casual Mentors with Similar Interests. Contact your local college or church requesting an exceptional student with the sport or skill interest of your son.  Interview him and offer to pay him to coach your son.  Encourage the relationship with family barbeques, etc.

Extracurricular Activities with an organization.  Connect with church youth groups, Campus Life, Junior Achievement, Boy Scouts.  These organizations have volunteers who want to influence youth.  Bill Beausay calls them Pockets of Power, “All you need to do is arrange transportation, give thanks to God for people like this, and get out of the way”. (“Shaping the Man Inside Teenage Boys”)


BONNIE CHRISTENSEN
Woman Gone Wise