NEW MAMA

This week Mommyhood smacked me in the face in a rather unpleasant way (don’t worry…there is a happy ending).

Baby Boy turned four months old yesterday, and it has been a glorious four months! He is sweet and smiley. It is so fun to watch how much his daddy loves him. I steal kisses and snuggles every change I get. And as Caring Wifey and Mama Bear and Business Woman I have generally felt in control.

That is…up until this week. Baby Boy started running a temperature. I spent lots of time sucking snot out of his nose, rocking him when he couldn’t sleep, talking to doctors. I cancelled all of my plans for the week. And I had lots of time to think about how this New Mama business was influencing my life.

I realized that in general as a stay-at-home-mom I would actually need to start staying home sometimes (imagine that). With the birth of Baby Boy my heart priorities had changed, but up until this week my schedule was not reflecting it. I have been swallowing the hard truth that I cannot be the one in control. (Was I ever really?)

My sink is full: 

I can’t make plans without thinking through a feeding/nap/bag-packing schedule.

My workflow revolves around Baby Boy’s attention span with his current toy.

I think I might be swallowed by my to-do list very soon.

My emotions were starting to completely take over, and I knew I needed help. I opened my bible.

I still am surprised at how perfectly the bible speaks to my life. Psalm 90 reminded me to “number [my] days, that [I] may gain a heart of wisdom” (verse 12). I don’t have unlimited time on earth. Am I using it wisely? Do I love people well? Or do I get caught up in my own schedule – what I want to do?

“If only we knew the power of your anger! Your wrath is as great as the fear that is your due” (Psalm 90:11). Am I taking God seriously? He wants me to have life to the fullest, and to know true love, so His anger should be a warning for me to return to Him.

“Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days” (Psalm 90:14). Instead of trying to satisfy myself with what I’ve accomplished (work, exercising, completing errands) which will leave me tired and empty, I can ask the Lord to satisfy me – and I will sing for joy.

“May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us; establish the work of our hands for us – yes, establish the work of our hands” (Psalm 90:17). This makes me want to cry. I DO have a purpose. I have work to do, and when God is the one setting it out for me, it is worth doing.


LINDSAY HALE
Lindsay Kaye Photography