WHEN LIFE GOES INTO OVERLOAD

They call me the “One Trip Wonder.” A shopping bag hanging off of each finger and one wedged beneath my chin. Wrangling uncooperative bags with my hands while body checking the trunk closed. Beckham’s got nothing on me, as I dribble the extra-large package of (extra-large) pull-ups up the driveway with my feet. I bellow through the front door from someone to open up and give me a hand. Not to brag, but opera singers wish they had my lung capacity.

An overflowing cart of groceries carried into the house in ONE LOAD. That’s a crucial 47 seconds in valuable time saved! The crowd goes wild with applause! They’re amazed. They’re impressed. They wish they could be like me.

They’re the imaginary audience in my head.

The actual, real people in my life just shrug and ask if I remembered to get crunchy peanut butter this time. They sigh weary sighs when asked to carry the food into the kitchen. They gripe about the broken egg and the misshapen bread.

Nobody appreciates my genius.

I’m Queen of the Grocery Overload!

Unfortunately, I’m not quite as competent when it comes to handling an overloaded schedule.

Every once in a while we find ourselves facing a week of extras. Extra challenges. Extra events. Extra work.

Common sense dictates that this is the time to buckle down and plow through.

Deer-in-the-headlights, Overwhelmed, Procrastinating Perfectionist suggests curling up into a fetal ball and crying like a baby.

Guess which one I usually choose?

February has had a few days of overload (much like January, and December of course, oh and the whole year before that). We truck along quite happily until a few extras get thrown into the mix. And then it seems like too much. Of course, the worst part isn’t the actual workload. Or the unsettled children. Or the break in routine.

The worst part is the anticipation of busyness beforehand.

When push comes to shove, I take busy and make it my b…. aby. But the pre-show isn’t pretty. Instead of getting MORE done, because life is about to ramp up, I seem to accomplish less than ever. I moan and complain and sit around feeling overwhelmed.

But this year I have a secret weapon.

This year, I’m not responsible for tomorrow or all week long or the rest of the year or however many days I have left on God’s green earth. This year, I’m responsible for TODAY. And the rest I’m leaving in God’s hands.

The days I remember this, it makes all the difference.

So here’s me, and I’ve had a few Overwhelmed Fetal Ball episodes, but remembering my One Word has helped. And this week I am facing a midterm, a school project, a sick child, a visit from in-laws, a family outing, a trip to the States, several meetings, Glen working evenings, baking 6 dozen cupcakes and pulling off a large Gotcha party for our boy and 50+ of our closest friends… but I’m feeling pretty cool, because I can handle TODAY and TODAY alone.

CHRISTIE HOOS

So Here's Us

BEDWORK WEEK 2: PLAY!

Bedwork Week 2: Play!

Listen to my radio interview with Susan Knight of Calgary’s up!97.7 FM this week:

There is no doubt that we live in a crazy, busy world. Most of us are in double income families, we have long commutes to work, and our children have music, foreign language, sports, dance, art and tutoring lessons so they become “well rounded” and can get into university one day. It is so easy to rush around so frantically that we don’t truly connect – with our spouses, with our friends, even with ourselves. It is no wonder that we feel like we can barely keep up the pace.

Often, instead of slowing down and eliminating activities, we just speed up even more and cite the mantra of the Little Train Who Could – “I think I can, I think I can.” After all, if Little Miss Perfect down the road can do it, so can I! We get caught up in a world of perpetual exhaustion. When our friends ask, “How are you doing?” We say, “I’m so busy!” and they sigh because they are busy too. This response does two things for us:

1)   It makes us look good, because culturally we have linked “productive” to the term “busy.” (Truth be told, you can be very busy and still incredibly unproductive.) In essence, we perpetuate the façade that “busy” makes us worthwhile to those around us. In our minds, they are thinking, “Oh, she must be so important because she is so busy!”

2)   It creates distance in our relationships. We send out the subliminal signal “Don’t try to spend time with me, ask me for anything or talk to me. I am too busy for you.” Sometimes we think we need this distance – if people would just leave us alone, we could get all our tasks done! But this attitude just leaves us feeling lonely. We have run off the very people who are best positioned to carry some of the load with us.

A couple years ago, I came across a profound quote by Dr. Stuart Brown that began to change my perspective on the activities in my life. Dr. Brown said this:

“Do you know what the opposite of play is? No, it’s not work. It’s depression.”

When we do not create time and space to play, we become depressed. We become more and more isolated. Our unhappiness grows. Our stress levels spike. We get grouchy with others. And far too often, we try to work our way out of this hole. But this is the opposite of what we should be doing. We should be making more time to play.

This holds true with our relationships as well. When they become too much about function and task, they become depressed. Sometimes we treat the problems with in-depth conversations. Sometimes we go to a counselor to discuss everything that is wrong about the other person. Sometimes we allow distance and silence to grow between us. We circle around and around the problems never seeing much progress and we lose hope that it will ever be different.

Perhaps, we just need to give ourselves permission to play. To do something fun and enjoyable for no other reason than because it is fun and enjoyable. To laugh and giggle. To put that old argument on the shelf and just hang out together. To grab on for a hug even though things are not perfect.

So this week – regardless of whether you are fighting with your spouse or not – your Bedwork assignment is to have at least one hour of play together. Go dancing. Play a game of tennis. Do an art project together. Have a snowball fight. Go skating on the local pond. Rent a comedy and laugh together. Have a wrestling match. Dust off your ancient copy of Monopoly. Whatever you choose, play. Play hard. It might be the best thing you have done for your relationship in a long time.

ERYN-FAYE FRANS, Canada's Passion Coach ®

Erynfaye.com

THE PLEASURE AND PRACTICE OF SLOWING DOWN

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you," 

Matthew 6:33

We just returned home after a week-long Thanksgiving vacation, when my husband began to pull out the multitude of Christmas decoration boxes we have accumulated. If he is feeling inclined to climb up that ladder and put Christmas lights across the roof, who am I to hold him back?  But, I wasn’t ready for those boxes to pile up in our hallway. I had laundry to do, lessons to plan, grocery shopping, and a few other details on my Saturday calendar.  My heart started to race.

“I’m not going to get to the decorations until next Saturday,” I explained.

There, I said it. The guilt of leaving it undone for a week was gone.  But, the anxiety remained. One more project to do.

Only I can take responsibility for the number of Christmas decorations I have to place through the house.  I am the one who cross-stitched all the family stockings, sewed the stuffed santas which sit atop kitchen cupboards and collected all the Christmas plates, frames and nativities over the years. I collected them in order to create a festive home, a place of celebration for my kids to enjoy and remember. But this year, the decorations created stress.

Saturday arrived and I was ready to begin the great decoration overhaul. As I emptied boxes, dodged the kids dancing around the floor with their dog, and answered phone calls; the stress began to rise again.  Visions of projects undone danced in my head.  I glanced into the living room and saw the place I have created for rest.

My Bible lies on the end table, my notebook and devotional book wait for me. A warm throw and coaster for my hot tea invite me to come and sit. I carved this small place of solitude out months ago, a place in the center of my home which is hard to walk past, without hearing the Lord whisper to me:

“My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.” And my heart responds, “LORD, I am coming.” (Psalm 27:8).

In the midst of the noisy laughter and prancing of dog feet, the mess of the boxes and turmoil of projects to come, I turned my back and curled up on a small corner of the couch. I breathed in long deep breaths, and exhaled slowly. (I am learning to slow my body down and give it rest from the physical consequences of stress.) Then I quietly talked with my Lord. I read His Words to me, let Him speak to my heart and discussed the day with Him.

Our lives are spinning with activity, meetings, and media attachments. If our bodies are not constantly on the go, then surely our minds are!  It is a rarity to experience rest in this culture amidst the stress we have created.

To live with simplicity and slow ourselves down, includes bringing our minds back to the rest of our Shepherd.  When we seek Him first (Matthew 6:33), His kingdom and His righteousness, we are allowing our minds and our whole-self to be lined up with the Shepherd of our souls. It takes practice to pull ourselves away and make it happen. There in our solitude, we find pleasure in slowing down and hearing from the Lord.

As I walked back to my Christmas project, my body felt at rest; my mind focused on the things that matter most to me, and my spirit renewed and filled with His Spirit.

I finished a good portion of the decorations, and put the rest of the boxes back in the closet for another year. I decided to cut down my own Christmas decorating expectations in order to be about the simple more pleasurable things in my life: like baking goodies, laughing with my kids, and enjoying the gift of timeless and eternal moments with my Lord.

Share with us how you have found rest or simplicity in the midst of the holidays. How do you keep your focus on your Good Shepherd?

BONNIE CHRISTENSEN

WomanGoneWise.com